Sunday, August 31, 2008
August 31, 2008
It has now been a month since my dear Mom died. With my last post to this blog I was reminded that I have used up almost all of the space so kindly allocated. So I have created a new blog, kootenaygrandma2. Hopefully I will be able to put a link on both to the other.
Friday, August 15, 2008
August 15, 2008 the final post from Mom's Journey
Here is a collage photo of all of us leftovers. We gathered at the house after the service and then after we had dinner we took these photos. Adele was not well and left just after the service so she and Steve and Casey are not in the groups in front of the house.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
More Kaslo trip
1. Gord and Liam dipping their toes into Kootenay Lake at Kaslo2. and 3. Wanda and Hezz touring the Moyie
On the Wednesday before the service the water reservoir for our subdivision was cleaned out and we had no water between 9AM and 2PM so we decided to take a break and went to Kaslo for the day. What a good idea! We almost felt human again. It was a mass adventure involving 2 cars. Here are some of the photos.
The first photo is on our way to Kaslo along the main lake. It just can't get much prettier!
2. Kaslo Bay where the jazz festival is held every August long weekend. The bands are on a floating stage and the crowd is on the shore.
3. The Moyie - retired paddlewheeler now a museum. This boat plied Kootenay Lake until 1957. Nostalgic moment even though we didn't move here until 1966.
4. Emily and I in the wheelhouse pretending.
5. Gord pulled the whistle - cost Diarmid $5 and they both got about $100 worth of pleasure from it.
Leaflet that we shared
Here is the leaflet that we created for Mom's memorial. I hope that it comes out in this format. Heaven knows I have spent much time to make that happen! This uploaded in the order of front, back and then the inside. If you double-click on the inside page it will bring it up larger so that you might be able to actually read it!
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Mom's service
This post will be fairly long because I have included some of the speeches from the service. Gord was the emcee and he did an incredible job! Then he introduced a few people who had asked to be included, including both of my sons(have I ever said how proud of them I am?) and Deanne and Emily. Deanne and Emily read together the motto that we had printed on the back of the leaflet. After those folks he opened up the mike for anyone to say a few words and it was quite amazing to see how many could get up and share some thoughts. And what lovely tributes to Mom. All of us kids know how wonderful she was and it was so nice to know how many others share that feeling. After all had spoken then Gord called upon Judy to lead us in the Lord's Prayer. Her preface to the prayer just about made me cry.
The only problem is that I have now put a couple of photos in and they apparently have to be at the top!
The first section is the speech that Gord made.
Jennie McD. Memorial Service, Aug 8, 2008
Good afternoon everyone. My name is Gord Kiteley, eldest son of Jennie’s daughter Wanda. I will be serving as a makeshift emcee for today’s proceedings. I make no promises of getting through all of this without occasionally becoming overcome by emotion or presenting a tear, however I will do my best to keep things moving and, as grandma would have liked, focused on the happy times we all shared with her.
Before we start, there is an anecdote about my humble public speaking beginnings I would like to share. It brought down the house the first time, and if it brings a smile to the faces of the people that were there to hear it again, it will be worth rehashing.
I believe it was grandpa’s 70th birthday and word came down that the adults thought it would be nice if one of the grandkids got up and said a few words. Even at the tender age of about 11 or 12, I was rarely at a loss for a clever quip, so the task fell onto my shoulders. I hummed and I hawed and I scratched out ideas and I came up with, what I thought, was a pretty good game plan: Hit ‘em with a joke, toast the old fella with some tired cliché and sign off with his patented “…And keep your hands in your pockets!!!” that he had so often hollered at my brother and I as we raced into a store with him.
I got up there in front of a roomful of people I didn’t know, swallowed hard and said “When the grandkids were asked to speak here tonight, we all got together and drew straws to see who was going to do it. And, no, I didn’t win!”
Well, the room erupted, there was people slamming drinks down on the table doing their best to keep from spitting all over, my normally stoic father had beer dripping out his nostrils and, probably best of all, my grandpa was laughing like I had never seen him before.
I harbor no delusions of delivering an all-timer like that today, but I do hope to deliver the kind of performance befitting the day.
On behalf of Jennie’s family, I would like to thank each of you for your presence here today. It has been said that the true treasures of a life are the friends you leave behind, and judging from all the people here today, grandma enjoyed a wealth she may never know again.
(Eulogy – Expanded Version)
At this time, I would like to ask Lorraine Tarasoff and Pam Mosby to come up and sing one of grandma’s favorite songs, Amazing Grace.
(The Song)
One thing that grandma’s situation afforded us as grandkids was the opportunity to tell her just how we felt about all the time she spent with us, the things she taught us and just how much we appreciated all she did. A few of us would like to share with you what we shared with her.
Diarmid, if you could come up please.
Kevin would like to say a few words as well.
I have been told that I have a habit of stating my opinion as fact. If you know my mother, this likely isn’t a huge surprise. But, in her defense, she came by it honestly as well.
One of my favorite memories of grandma is sitting in her living room discussing the growing carbon content in our atmosphere and its link to the near-record high temperatures being seen around the world. After listening to Karen, Deanne and I talk about various programs we had watched on it, cite numerous published studies in various industry journals, grandma looks at us incredulously and says “Oh, you don’t believe in that Greenhouse Gas crap do you??”
Later that night, as my wife and I lay in bed talking about how certain grandma was that the whole this was a media-driven hoax, Deanne reached over to turn her light out and said “I see where you get that from now!”
(Read My Memory)
At this time, I would like to ask Emily DaCosta and Deanne Kiteley to come up and read a few words.
(Family Circle)
Now, we would like to open the mike up to anyone in the group who would like to come up and share something about grandma. Please feel free to spend as much or as little time up here as you like, but know that any contribution will be greatly appreciated.
(Open Mike)
At this time, Judy Tagami would like to say a few words.
(Judy)
In closing, I would like mention that there will be an interment to follow at a later date at the Silver Stream Cemetery in Leacross Sk. The family would also like to ask you to stay and join us for a tea and social immediately following the proceedings.
Finally, on behalf of the family, we would like to thank each and every one of you for taking the time to come out and remember grandma with us. Looking around the room I can truly say we are here to celebrate a life’s work, well done.
Thank you.
Here are Diarmid's words. Please try to read them with an Australian accent because that's how we heard them!
Thanks Gord.
Now, I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging, but I'm pretty sure I've come from further away than anyone else so that I could be here today. I left behind my wife Jenn and our children, who I know would really like to be here, and travelled from Australia, as some of you will know, with the intent of visiting my gramma one last time. I was fortunate to arrive when I did, as mere hours later she was gone. So now I am here to celebrate the life of a woman who had such a huge influence over the person I am today. While I was on the plane I had a fair bit of time to think about the sorts of words I'd like to say to gramma about the positive things she did to help shape me, and while I didn't have a chance to share them with her, I am proud to share some of my thoughts with you:
Gramma knew how to make an impression, even on the most hardened teenager. When gramma first met Amy, our eldest, while she visited for our wedding, she very casually took Amy aside and thrust a fifty-dollar note into her hand. “Now don't you go and tell anyone about this,” gramma said.. This is yours.” Amy dutifully didn't, although she certainly tells the story excitedly nowadays. When pressed, Stephanie revealed that the same happened to her, and when she told of it, she shared a conspiratorial grin with her sister. And while gramma didn't give Jacob the same treatment, as he was a bit young then, his teenage boy bravado now presents us with the judgment that “Gramma owns.” While I'm not 100% certain exactly what that means, I am sure it's a good thing. Zach, being a man of few words, will only indicate that he agrees with Jacob, and for someone who doesn't smile much, he wears a suspiciously big grin when nodding his assent.
Gramma also knew how the simplest things will often make the best gifts for kids, and picked things that would fire their imaginations. Our younger boys Indy, Reyne and George still run more batteries through their flashlights she sent them the Christmas before last than they ever have through the remote control cars they've begged so insistently for.
Gramma, you made everyone feel as though they were your favourite. This is most obvious to me from the way that, from the day you met her, you made Jenn feel like she had always been a part of our family.
You lived for others, but were happy in yourself, rather than living for yourself and being only happy through others.
You gave me belief when I had none, doubt when I didn't have enough, and laughter and love always.You helped make me who I am, not by where you pushed me, but by where you led me.You made our family what it is, and while I rightly fear that it will never be quite the same again, you have, through myriad little ways, shown me that hope is a powerful antidote to fear.The life you led, where you warmed so many hearts, and lit so many faces with smiles, while almost never warming any tempers (excepting one infamous one), can't help but make us proud. And you live on still, in warming our hearts and lighting our smiling faces, and inspiring us to follow your wise and sensible path. You can be sure that we feel you have lived your best life, and while sad that we will see you no more, we will be overjoyed when we have our own flashes of brilliance, and see your hand in our own actions, or speak words that could easily have been yours.
What will I miss about you gramma? I will miss finishing your crosswords, and while there's still a crossword in the paper every day, I really prefer to finish, rather than start them. It just feels like my place in things.Probably what I will miss most of all is "the look." You know the one. It has so many uses. It can express doubt at the truth of one of Gord's stories, or can chide my mother when she's just a bit too pleased with herself. It can suggest to Christa or Jimmy that whatever inappropriate subject they're alluding to is better left as allusions. Whenever Lor gets the look, she seems not to notice, though I think she's acting like the youngest child, and is simply willfully ignoring it. I mean, a youngest child can do no wrong, right? Wanda, well, she rarely seems to get the look. Now that I think of it, neither do I. I'm not sure why that is. Mind you, the look lives on. I've certainly seen George shoot the same look at his brothers when something is going wrong or one of them is being a bit too silly.
We will go on, striving to be like you, and though that picture of you each of us holds in our hearts is different, that striving is your immortality.
Thank you.
Thanks Gord.
Now, I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging, but I'm pretty sure I've come from further away than anyone else so that I could be here today. I left behind my wife Jenn and our children, who I know would really like to be here, and travelled from Australia, as some of you will know, with the intent of visiting my gramma one last time. I was fortunate to arrive when I did, as mere hours later she was gone. So now I am here to celebrate the life of a woman who had such a huge influence over the person I am today. While I was on the plane I had a fair bit of time to think about the sorts of words I'd like to say to gramma about the positive things she did to help shape me, and while I didn't have a chance to share them with her, I am proud to share some of my thoughts with you:
Gramma knew how to make an impression, even on the most hardened teenager. When gramma first met Amy, our eldest, while she visited for our wedding, she very casually took Amy aside and thrust a fifty-dollar note into her hand. “Now don't you go and tell anyone about this,” gramma said.. This is yours.” Amy dutifully didn't, although she certainly tells the story excitedly nowadays. When pressed, Stephanie revealed that the same happened to her, and when she told of it, she shared a conspiratorial grin with her sister. And while gramma didn't give Jacob the same treatment, as he was a bit young then, his teenage boy bravado now presents us with the judgment that “Gramma owns.” While I'm not 100% certain exactly what that means, I am sure it's a good thing. Zach, being a man of few words, will only indicate that he agrees with Jacob, and for someone who doesn't smile much, he wears a suspiciously big grin when nodding his assent.
Gramma also knew how the simplest things will often make the best gifts for kids, and picked things that would fire their imaginations. Our younger boys Indy, Reyne and George still run more batteries through their flashlights she sent them the Christmas before last than they ever have through the remote control cars they've begged so insistently for.
Gramma, you made everyone feel as though they were your favourite. This is most obvious to me from the way that, from the day you met her, you made Jenn feel like she had always been a part of our family.
You lived for others, but were happy in yourself, rather than living for yourself and being only happy through others.
You gave me belief when I had none, doubt when I didn't have enough, and laughter and love always.You helped make me who I am, not by where you pushed me, but by where you led me.You made our family what it is, and while I rightly fear that it will never be quite the same again, you have, through myriad little ways, shown me that hope is a powerful antidote to fear.The life you led, where you warmed so many hearts, and lit so many faces with smiles, while almost never warming any tempers (excepting one infamous one), can't help but make us proud. And you live on still, in warming our hearts and lighting our smiling faces, and inspiring us to follow your wise and sensible path. You can be sure that we feel you have lived your best life, and while sad that we will see you no more, we will be overjoyed when we have our own flashes of brilliance, and see your hand in our own actions, or speak words that could easily have been yours.
What will I miss about you gramma? I will miss finishing your crosswords, and while there's still a crossword in the paper every day, I really prefer to finish, rather than start them. It just feels like my place in things.Probably what I will miss most of all is "the look." You know the one. It has so many uses. It can express doubt at the truth of one of Gord's stories, or can chide my mother when she's just a bit too pleased with herself. It can suggest to Christa or Jimmy that whatever inappropriate subject they're alluding to is better left as allusions. Whenever Lor gets the look, she seems not to notice, though I think she's acting like the youngest child, and is simply willfully ignoring it. I mean, a youngest child can do no wrong, right? Wanda, well, she rarely seems to get the look. Now that I think of it, neither do I. I'm not sure why that is. Mind you, the look lives on. I've certainly seen George shoot the same look at his brothers when something is going wrong or one of them is being a bit too silly.
We will go on, striving to be like you, and though that picture of you each of us holds in our hearts is different, that striving is your immortality.
Thank you.
Kevin ad-libbed his words but mentioned a card that he had given Mom for her birthday this year that he had chosen particularly because it spoke of "grandmotherly hugs".
During the open mike period Wanda LeBlanc spoke and she was kind enough to share them with us:
“The span between life and death can seem as quick and sudden as a puff of wind that blows out a candle. But the candle does not suffer after darkness comes. It is the people in the room that stumble and grope.”
My name is Wanda. I've been friends with Jennie and her family for about five years, and I'm very grateful to be here today to honour Jennie.
When Jim called to tell me that his mom, Jennie, had passed on, through tears he said, “I feel so blessed to have the family and friends that I've had in my life.” This from a man who had just lost his mother, the most important woman in his life. That was the best tribute to Jennie that I could think of. It's what she would have said herself. Jennie treated everyone she knew as a true blessing in her life. Her kindness, truly giving heart her humour and wisdom... her baking... were such a gift. The family and friends I have met through Jennie – the circle of people in her life – are a reflection of the amazing woman she was. I want to thank you all, and above all I want to thank Jennie, for extending the blessings of your life to me and my family. We are forever blessed because of you.
Judy has also been kind enough to share her words with me:
It is my privilege to have been a friend and neighbour to Jennie for the past several years, and I am honoured to have been asked to say a few words about her.
Jennie was always well organized and in control. True to form, she was involved in the planning of her own funeral, including what kind of sandwiches to serve and what kind of service to have. She did not want a religious service because she said she was not religious; but, she also said it would be all right if someone wanted to say something religious.
I knew Jennie to be one of the kindest, most caring, and most charitable people I have ever known. She always thought of others before herself and never wanted to be a burden to anyone. She always repaid kindness with even more kindness. To me, Jennie was a religious person. Please join me now in saying the Lord’s Prayer in memory of Jennie.
Jennie was always well organized and in control. True to form, she was involved in the planning of her own funeral, including what kind of sandwiches to serve and what kind of service to have. She did not want a religious service because she said she was not religious; but, she also said it would be all right if someone wanted to say something religious.
I knew Jennie to be one of the kindest, most caring, and most charitable people I have ever known. She always thought of others before herself and never wanted to be a burden to anyone. She always repaid kindness with even more kindness. To me, Jennie was a religious person. Please join me now in saying the Lord’s Prayer in memory of Jennie.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Second post today because the last one quit in the middle and then wouldn't let me back in!!!! However, this has worked extremely well for the past few months so I mustn't complain.
Some folks asked me about a donation in lieu of flowers and following family discussion the decision is that people who would like to make a donation could choose their favorite charity or the KLH Hospital Foundation with direction to the palliative room.
Some folks asked me about a donation in lieu of flowers and following family discussion the decision is that people who would like to make a donation could choose their favorite charity or the KLH Hospital Foundation with direction to the palliative room.
Memorial Service
I have been asked to post the details of the memorial service. In Nelson we will be having a "Celebration of Life" on Friday, August 8 from 1PM to 3PM at the North Shore Hall. The date for interrment of ashes in Saskatchewan has yet to be determined, may even be next year when all of the siblings will be able to attend.
Saturday, August 02, 2008
August 1 - Journey's End
Yesterday evening just after 6 o'clock, Mom passed away. Lor had noticed a very significant change when she went in yesterday and as the day progressed she deteriorated even more.
At about 3PM both Diarmid and Kevin appeared at the Xray counter so I burst into tears and then left for the day. We arrived at Jubilee to find that Jim and Kim were on their way in to town after Christa had been for a visit. Adele came when she finished work. By 5 PM there was a big crowd! After speaking to the nurse on duty we decided that most of us should leave for dinner and left Jim and Kim and Adele there since they had eaten most recently.
We just barely reached home when Jim called to say she had gone. The nurse attending her was one of her favorites from when Nellie was at Mt St Francis, Greg. He is so caring with patients.
Lor and I went back into town to say our final farewells and to take Mom's things home. We have tried to call as many people as possible.
Today we are making some arrangements for the service - I don't know how quickly that can happen due to the long weekend.
At about 3PM both Diarmid and Kevin appeared at the Xray counter so I burst into tears and then left for the day. We arrived at Jubilee to find that Jim and Kim were on their way in to town after Christa had been for a visit. Adele came when she finished work. By 5 PM there was a big crowd! After speaking to the nurse on duty we decided that most of us should leave for dinner and left Jim and Kim and Adele there since they had eaten most recently.
We just barely reached home when Jim called to say she had gone. The nurse attending her was one of her favorites from when Nellie was at Mt St Francis, Greg. He is so caring with patients.
Lor and I went back into town to say our final farewells and to take Mom's things home. We have tried to call as many people as possible.
Today we are making some arrangements for the service - I don't know how quickly that can happen due to the long weekend.
Friday, August 01, 2008
August 1
Yesterday Mom did not get out of bed and was very quiet while I was there. She seems to be slipping away from us. Dr Sawyer came to visit and told us that we don't have a lot of time left, maybe a week or so, maybe less.
Lor had taken a crock pot full of chicken with veggies and plugged that into an outlet in the corner of Mom's room. That whole wing of Jubilee Manor smelled marvellous. Mom said that she would like some chicken but when the time came she refused. Later Greg, her nurse for the evening, brought her some ice cream and she allowed him to feed her a bit. My thought is that she is not ready for family to feed her yet. We are now allowed to help her drink some water.
Shirley came to stay with Mom overnight and Mom was so pleased when she heard. Then when Shirley arrived Mom was very happy to see her.
Emily is now enrolled in a day program so Lor is freer for Mom.
Many thanks to all who are sending their love and those who are sending me updates on their lives that take me away from my woes for a few minutes. I have now put an email address at the upper right corner of this screen for anyone who would like to send greetings to Mom or the rest of us(should have thought of that much sooner!)
I am still working - gives me some "normal". As normal as that place ever gets.
Lor had taken a crock pot full of chicken with veggies and plugged that into an outlet in the corner of Mom's room. That whole wing of Jubilee Manor smelled marvellous. Mom said that she would like some chicken but when the time came she refused. Later Greg, her nurse for the evening, brought her some ice cream and she allowed him to feed her a bit. My thought is that she is not ready for family to feed her yet. We are now allowed to help her drink some water.
Shirley came to stay with Mom overnight and Mom was so pleased when she heard. Then when Shirley arrived Mom was very happy to see her.
Emily is now enrolled in a day program so Lor is freer for Mom.
Many thanks to all who are sending their love and those who are sending me updates on their lives that take me away from my woes for a few minutes. I have now put an email address at the upper right corner of this screen for anyone who would like to send greetings to Mom or the rest of us(should have thought of that much sooner!)
I am still working - gives me some "normal". As normal as that place ever gets.
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