August 31, 2008

It has now been a month since my dear Mom died. With my last post to this blog I was reminded that I have used up almost all of the space so kindly allocated. So I have created a new blog, kootenaygrandma2. Hopefully I will be able to put a link on both to the other.

August 15, 2008 the final post from Mom's Journey

Here is a collage photo of all of us leftovers. We gathered at the house after the service and then after we had dinner we took these photos. Adele was not well and left just after the service so she and Steve and Casey are not in the groups in front of the house.

More Kaslo trip

1. Gord and Liam dipping their toes into Kootenay Lake at Kaslo
2. and 3. Wanda and Hezz touring the Moyie

On the Wednesday before the service the water reservoir for our subdivision was cleaned out and we had no water between 9AM and 2PM so we decided to take a break and went to Kaslo for the day. What a good idea! We almost felt human again. It was a mass adventure involving 2 cars. Here are some of the photos.

The first photo is on our way to Kaslo along the main lake. It just can't get much prettier!

2. Kaslo Bay where the jazz festival is held every August long weekend. The bands are on a floating stage and the crowd is on the shore.

3. The Moyie - retired paddlewheeler now a museum. This boat plied Kootenay Lake until 1957. Nostalgic moment even though we didn't move here until 1966.

4. Emily and I in the wheelhouse pretending.

5. Gord pulled the whistle - cost Diarmid $5 and they both got about $100 worth of pleasure from it.

Leaflet that we shared

Here is the leaflet that we created for Mom's memorial. I hope that it comes out in this format. Heaven knows I have spent much time to make that happen! This uploaded in the order of front, back and then the inside. If you double-click on the inside page it will bring it up larger so that you might be able to actually read it!

Mom's service

This post will be fairly long because I have included some of the speeches from the service. Gord was the emcee and he did an incredible job! Then he introduced a few people who had asked to be included, including both of my sons(have I ever said how proud of them I am?) and Deanne and Emily. Deanne and Emily read together the motto that we had printed on the back of the leaflet. After those folks he opened up the mike for anyone to say a few words and it was quite amazing to see how many could get up and share some thoughts. And what lovely tributes to Mom. All of us kids know how wonderful she was and it was so nice to know how many others share that feeling. After all had spoken then Gord called upon Judy to lead us in the Lord's Prayer. Her preface to the prayer just about made me cry.

The only problem is that I have now put a couple of photos in and they apparently have to be at the top!

The first section is the speech that Gord made.

Jennie McD. Memorial Service, Aug 8, 2008
Good afternoon everyone. My name is Gord Kiteley, eldest son of Jennie’s daughter Wanda. I will be serving as a makeshift emcee for today’s proceedings. I make no promises of getting through all of this without occasionally becoming overcome by emotion or presenting a tear, however I will do my best to keep things moving and, as grandma would have liked, focused on the happy times we all shared with her.
Before we start, there is an anecdote about my humble public speaking beginnings I would like to share. It brought down the house the first time, and if it brings a smile to the faces of the people that were there to hear it again, it will be worth rehashing.
I believe it was grandpa’s 70th birthday and word came down that the adults thought it would be nice if one of the grandkids got up and said a few words. Even at the tender age of about 11 or 12, I was rarely at a loss for a clever quip, so the task fell onto my shoulders. I hummed and I hawed and I scratched out ideas and I came up with, what I thought, was a pretty good game plan: Hit ‘em with a joke, toast the old fella with some tired cliché and sign off with his patented “…And keep your hands in your pockets!!!” that he had so often hollered at my brother and I as we raced into a store with him.
I got up there in front of a roomful of people I didn’t know, swallowed hard and said “When the grandkids were asked to speak here tonight, we all got together and drew straws to see who was going to do it. And, no, I didn’t win!”
Well, the room erupted, there was people slamming drinks down on the table doing their best to keep from spitting all over, my normally stoic father had beer dripping out his nostrils and, probably best of all, my grandpa was laughing like I had never seen him before.
I harbor no delusions of delivering an all-timer like that today, but I do hope to deliver the kind of performance befitting the day.
On behalf of Jennie’s family, I would like to thank each of you for your presence here today. It has been said that the true treasures of a life are the friends you leave behind, and judging from all the people here today, grandma enjoyed a wealth she may never know again.
(Eulogy – Expanded Version)
At this time, I would like to ask Lorraine Tarasoff and Pam Mosby to come up and sing one of grandma’s favorite songs, Amazing Grace.
(The Song)
One thing that grandma’s situation afforded us as grandkids was the opportunity to tell her just how we felt about all the time she spent with us, the things she taught us and just how much we appreciated all she did. A few of us would like to share with you what we shared with her.
Diarmid, if you could come up please.
Kevin would like to say a few words as well.
I have been told that I have a habit of stating my opinion as fact. If you know my mother, this likely isn’t a huge surprise. But, in her defense, she came by it honestly as well.
One of my favorite memories of grandma is sitting in her living room discussing the growing carbon content in our atmosphere and its link to the near-record high temperatures being seen around the world. After listening to Karen, Deanne and I talk about various programs we had watched on it, cite numerous published studies in various industry journals, grandma looks at us incredulously and says “Oh, you don’t believe in that Greenhouse Gas crap do you??”
Later that night, as my wife and I lay in bed talking about how certain grandma was that the whole this was a media-driven hoax, Deanne reached over to turn her light out and said “I see where you get that from now!”
(Read My Memory)
At this time, I would like to ask Emily DaCosta and Deanne Kiteley to come up and read a few words.
(Family Circle)
Now, we would like to open the mike up to anyone in the group who would like to come up and share something about grandma. Please feel free to spend as much or as little time up here as you like, but know that any contribution will be greatly appreciated.
(Open Mike)

At this time, Judy Tagami would like to say a few words.
(Judy)



In closing, I would like mention that there will be an interment to follow at a later date at the Silver Stream Cemetery in Leacross Sk. The family would also like to ask you to stay and join us for a tea and social immediately following the proceedings.
Finally, on behalf of the family, we would like to thank each and every one of you for taking the time to come out and remember grandma with us. Looking around the room I can truly say we are here to celebrate a life’s work, well done.
Thank you.

Here are Diarmid's words. Please try to read them with an Australian accent because that's how we heard them!

Thanks Gord.
Now, I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging, but I'm pretty sure I've come from further away than anyone else so that I could be here today. I left behind my wife Jenn and our children, who I know would really like to be here, and travelled from Australia, as some of you will know, with the intent of visiting my gramma one last time. I was fortunate to arrive when I did, as mere hours later she was gone. So now I am here to celebrate the life of a woman who had such a huge influence over the person I am today. While I was on the plane I had a fair bit of time to think about the sorts of words I'd like to say to gramma about the positive things she did to help shape me, and while I didn't have a chance to share them with her, I am proud to share some of my thoughts with you:
Gramma knew how to make an impression, even on the most hardened teenager. When gramma first met Amy, our eldest, while she visited for our wedding, she very casually took Amy aside and thrust a fifty-dollar note into her hand. “Now don't you go and tell anyone about this,” gramma said.. This is yours.” Amy dutifully didn't, although she certainly tells the story excitedly nowadays. When pressed, Stephanie revealed that the same happened to her, and when she told of it, she shared a conspiratorial grin with her sister. And while gramma didn't give Jacob the same treatment, as he was a bit young then, his teenage boy bravado now presents us with the judgment that “Gramma owns.” While I'm not 100% certain exactly what that means, I am sure it's a good thing. Zach, being a man of few words, will only indicate that he agrees with Jacob, and for someone who doesn't smile much, he wears a suspiciously big grin when nodding his assent.
Gramma also knew how the simplest things will often make the best gifts for kids, and picked things that would fire their imaginations. Our younger boys Indy, Reyne and George still run more batteries through their flashlights she sent them the Christmas before last than they ever have through the remote control cars they've begged so insistently for.
Gramma, you made everyone feel as though they were your favourite. This is most obvious to me from the way that, from the day you met her, you made Jenn feel like she had always been a part of our family.
You lived for others, but were happy in yourself, rather than living for yourself and being only happy through others.
You gave me belief when I had none, doubt when I didn't have enough, and laughter and love always.You helped make me who I am, not by where you pushed me, but by where you led me.You made our family what it is, and while I rightly fear that it will never be quite the same again, you have, through myriad little ways, shown me that hope is a powerful antidote to fear.The life you led, where you warmed so many hearts, and lit so many faces with smiles, while almost never warming any tempers (excepting one infamous one), can't help but make us proud. And you live on still, in warming our hearts and lighting our smiling faces, and inspiring us to follow your wise and sensible path. You can be sure that we feel you have lived your best life, and while sad that we will see you no more, we will be overjoyed when we have our own flashes of brilliance, and see your hand in our own actions, or speak words that could easily have been yours.

What will I miss about you gramma? I will miss finishing your crosswords, and while there's still a crossword in the paper every day, I really prefer to finish, rather than start them. It just feels like my place in things.Probably what I will miss most of all is "the look." You know the one. It has so many uses. It can express doubt at the truth of one of Gord's stories, or can chide my mother when she's just a bit too pleased with herself. It can suggest to Christa or Jimmy that whatever inappropriate subject they're alluding to is better left as allusions. Whenever Lor gets the look, she seems not to notice, though I think she's acting like the youngest child, and is simply willfully ignoring it. I mean, a youngest child can do no wrong, right? Wanda, well, she rarely seems to get the look. Now that I think of it, neither do I. I'm not sure why that is. Mind you, the look lives on. I've certainly seen George shoot the same look at his brothers when something is going wrong or one of them is being a bit too silly.
We will go on, striving to be like you, and though that picture of you each of us holds in our hearts is different, that striving is your immortality.
Thank you.

Kevin ad-libbed his words but mentioned a card that he had given Mom for her birthday this year that he had chosen particularly because it spoke of "grandmotherly hugs".

During the open mike period Wanda LeBlanc spoke and she was kind enough to share them with us:

“The span between life and death can seem as quick and sudden as a puff of wind that blows out a candle. But the candle does not suffer after darkness comes. It is the people in the room that stumble and grope.”
My name is Wanda. I've been friends with Jennie and her family for about five years, and I'm very grateful to be here today to honour Jennie.
When Jim called to tell me that his mom, Jennie, had passed on, through tears he said, “I feel so blessed to have the family and friends that I've had in my life.” This from a man who had just lost his mother, the most important woman in his life. That was the best tribute to Jennie that I could think of. It's what she would have said herself. Jennie treated everyone she knew as a true blessing in her life. Her kindness, truly giving heart her humour and wisdom... her baking... were such a gift. The family and friends I have met through Jennie – the circle of people in her life – are a reflection of the amazing woman she was. I want to thank you all, and above all I want to thank Jennie, for extending the blessings of your life to me and my family. We are forever blessed because of you.

Judy has also been kind enough to share her words with me:

It is my privilege to have been a friend and neighbour to Jennie for the past several years, and I am honoured to have been asked to say a few words about her.
Jennie was always well organized and in control. True to form, she was involved in the planning of her own funeral, including what kind of sandwiches to serve and what kind of service to have. She did not want a religious service because she said she was not religious; but, she also said it would be all right if someone wanted to say something religious.
I knew Jennie to be one of the kindest, most caring, and most charitable people I have ever known. She always thought of others before herself and never wanted to be a burden to anyone. She always repaid kindness with even more kindness. To me, Jennie was a religious person. Please join me now in saying the Lord’s Prayer in memory of Jennie.

Second post today because the last one quit in the middle and then wouldn't let me back in!!!! However, this has worked extremely well for the past few months so I mustn't complain.
Some folks asked me about a donation in lieu of flowers and following family discussion the decision is that people who would like to make a donation could choose their favorite charity or the KLH Hospital Foundation with direction to the palliative room.

Memorial Service

I have been asked to post the details of the memorial service. In Nelson we will be having a "Celebration of Life" on Friday, August 8 from 1PM to 3PM at the North Shore Hall. The date for interrment of ashes in Saskatchewan has yet to be determined, may even be next year when all of the siblings will be able to attend.

August 1 - Journey's End

Yesterday evening just after 6 o'clock, Mom passed away. Lor had noticed a very significant change when she went in yesterday and as the day progressed she deteriorated even more.

At about 3PM both Diarmid and Kevin appeared at the Xray counter so I burst into tears and then left for the day. We arrived at Jubilee to find that Jim and Kim were on their way in to town after Christa had been for a visit. Adele came when she finished work. By 5 PM there was a big crowd! After speaking to the nurse on duty we decided that most of us should leave for dinner and left Jim and Kim and Adele there since they had eaten most recently.

We just barely reached home when Jim called to say she had gone. The nurse attending her was one of her favorites from when Nellie was at Mt St Francis, Greg. He is so caring with patients.
Lor and I went back into town to say our final farewells and to take Mom's things home. We have tried to call as many people as possible.

Today we are making some arrangements for the service - I don't know how quickly that can happen due to the long weekend.

August 1

Yesterday Mom did not get out of bed and was very quiet while I was there. She seems to be slipping away from us. Dr Sawyer came to visit and told us that we don't have a lot of time left, maybe a week or so, maybe less.
Lor had taken a crock pot full of chicken with veggies and plugged that into an outlet in the corner of Mom's room. That whole wing of Jubilee Manor smelled marvellous. Mom said that she would like some chicken but when the time came she refused. Later Greg, her nurse for the evening, brought her some ice cream and she allowed him to feed her a bit. My thought is that she is not ready for family to feed her yet. We are now allowed to help her drink some water.
Shirley came to stay with Mom overnight and Mom was so pleased when she heard. Then when Shirley arrived Mom was very happy to see her.
Emily is now enrolled in a day program so Lor is freer for Mom.
Many thanks to all who are sending their love and those who are sending me updates on their lives that take me away from my woes for a few minutes. I have now put an email address at the upper right corner of this screen for anyone who would like to send greetings to Mom or the rest of us(should have thought of that much sooner!)
I am still working - gives me some "normal". As normal as that place ever gets.

July 31

Yesterday Mom was the most lucid and calm that I have seen since before she went to Jubilee. It was very nice. When I commented to the nurse her reply was, "Enjoy it." So I did. Mom was in bed for the entire time from when I arrived at 5PM until I left. She even watched the news and Jeopardy, shades of the past.
I guess her pressure sores are getting worse. She did not eat anything again.

July30 - the month is almost over. What will August bring?

Lor and Emily visited Mom several times yesterday and Lor brought dinner from home. We went into the Sally Pearson room which is outfitted like a home family living-dining room with table, easy chairs, complete with fireplace and piano. It is meant for private birthday celebrations or Christmas celebrations for one or two residents as opposed to the main dining room where celebrations for all residents would be held.
We thought that Mom might be more comfortable eating there with us but she just wanted to go back to her room while we ate.
She is now being transferred by overhead lift because she is so weak. She has lost so much weight that her bones are protruding in her back and neck and she has now developed a pressure sore on her back. Every day we are finding out that there are more nasty things to deal with. Mom says that the pressure sores don't bother her but she is on the pain pump.
Dr Sawyer, the physician, is coming to see Mom on Thursday after I get off work so we will see what comes of that meeting.
The nurse on duty last evening, Ann, is so good. She was telling me that Mom seems to have turned another corner and is becoming calmer and more accepting of life in a care facility. I truly hope this is the case.
Lor is being dumped in at the deep end and I am feeling some small bit of relief!

July 29

My impression is that Mom is deteriorating all the time. Lor and Emily arrived yesterday about 6 o'clock. Prior to that Mom needed to uset he commode and I was going to help her but she just seems so frail that I called an aide. She was telling me that we shouldn't lift Mom on our own unless she was quite able to help, offered the ceiling lift. I told her that Mom had been OK the day before and we proceeded in the old way. Mom managed quite well.
As always the care aide left to attend to others while Mom did her part. I thought that I could likely get Mom up again on my own after the ease of transfer to the commode. When I tried to lift her under the arm she just couldn't help at all and was a dead weight. So I rang for Trudy and she came with another aide, Lynn. They considered using the lift but decided to give the underarm method a try. Instead of gently lifting Mom's arm, Lynn gave a great yank and hurt her back. Last I heard she had gone to the hospital. They then used the lift to help Mom up, found a huge pressure sore on her bum and decided that Mom should go back onto the bed until the nurse could have a look. Mom sure wasn't happy about that. It meant that when Lor and Emily arrived that she wouldn't be up in the chair and it definitely meant no drive!
Now I think that I have broken a care aide!
We visited for a while, had our dinner then Lorraine arrived to spend the night. Mom had almost decided that she doesn't need anyone to spend the night. What a blessing that would be - for me! Making a schedule just adds that little bit more to my day. But if Mom can be content it is not a problem.
Today Lor is going to visit, then come home and make supper and bring it back, we'll eat and then I'll come home. If anyone stays tonight it will be Lor and Emily.

July 28

I missed this space yesterday but will catch up today. Mom was able to transfer to the car for her ride, with quite a bit of difficulty. I wonder how long it will be safe to even try. Yesterday when I was with her in her room and she was lying on the bed, I played some CD's and she started calling out for Nellie and then for Alex.
Lor and Emily arrive today and we shall see what this week brings. Hope Jimmy's night went OK - he's the first guy to stay! but closely related.

July 26

I decided not to take a phone in to Mom's room because she won't talk on it anyway. As well the ringing of the phone in the room next door really annoys Mom because she can't answer it. Pretty well everyone who goes there has a cell or can use Jubilee's phone and the phone will be put to better use here at home. So I called Telus and they are switching Mom's phone back here on Tuesday. So anyone who has tried to call her in the past few days would just have reached endless ringing. Should be up and running by Wednesday at the latest.
This afternoon I was helping Mom transfer from the commode to her wheelchair and she sank to the ground and had to be helped up with a lift so I hope that she will be able to transfer again when she is stronger and more alert or else this will mean the end of our drives that she so enjoys.
At the moment she is listening to one of her Rod Stewart CD's that I put in just before leaving to pick up my supper. I had hoped that we could drive out here for me to eat but am almost afraid to try.
I will be staying with her tonight and Jimmy has offered to stay with her tomorrow.

July 25

Tomorrow it will be 2 months since we received that terrible diagnosis. What we have been through in that short time!
Yesterday Mom was very sleepy(drugged). I spoke with her doctor in the morning and had some questions for her. The doctor was kind enough to make a visit that afternoon, arriving shortly after I did. She examined Mom with the idea of having her come home and is now going to make some inquiries on our bahlf to help make that happen.
Then Mom and I went for our usual drive. She was so drugged that she was almost unable to assist in any way.
Came home to a lovely surprise - Carol had baked cinnamon buns for her family and shared those along with a pretty bouquet of flowers. Rather than my resolve to eat something nutritious and colorful - like a salad - I chowed down on one of them. It really hit the spot. Nutritious can happen today, maybe.

July 24

Life is taking another turn - Mom now wants to come home. When initially diagnosed she wanted to stay in care during her illness but now things have changed. I don't know that this is anything more than drug-induced paranoia or the combination of some of her caregivers and their other responsibilities within the facility, and Mom is not really forthcoming. This may be partly due to her inability to remember and articulate some of the problems but the only thing that she said is that they are pushing religion at her. Later on in our visit when I was gathering her laundry I found one pair of pants was missing. When I mentioned this to her she told me that she had gotten mad, torn them, and thrown them in the wash. That was her only explanation.
So: frustration - paranoia??????????
Home could be even less fun than the facility.
On the up side we had a much better visit yesterday and I have arranged for people to stay with her until Saturday so I can have a night off this weekend.
Yesterday I was so tired that I took the afternoon off and came home and slept. It was great and now I need to do that again today -ha ha.

I have decided not to take a phone in to her. She isn't asking for one and she won't talk to anyone and I can manage with my cell phone while there. The only time that she uses a phone is when she is very agitated and then she gets the nurse to call someone. I think that my work phone might take a beating if she has a phone and can figure out how to work it. So while I have shared the phone number with you, there is no phone attached and you will receive just ringing if you call there. I may actually ask Telus if they can reverse the change without charge. All right, quit laughing!

July 23

Yesterday Mom was pretty much the same and I am getting worn out. I am not very much help to her lifting her spirits. I can drive her around and rub her swollen feet but at the same time the tears are streaming down my face and I'm sure that's very upsetting to her but her medications don't allow her to show that.
Lorraine was staying with her last night and Mom was sure looking forward to that. Lorraine will notice quite a difference from a week ago. Mom has some very good friends and Jane is going to see her pretty well every day. Lor is coming back again this weekend. I will remember to take a telephone in today but before I install it in her room I will ask the nursing staff if they think it is a good idea. At this point it may not. I don't think that Mom will talk on any incoming calls and will only use the outgoing line as a rescue line! She always wants me to phone anyone who is supposed to be coming to find out why they aren't there yet - and that's usually about an hour before they say they will be there. And then every 5 minutes after that.

July 22

Yesterday Mom was very sleepy which is much easier to take than anxious but at the same time makes me cry more. She was a bit anxious because the person coming to stay with her last night is a hospice worker that she has never met and didn't arrive until 2200. So I didn't stay very long after Janet arrived and hope that all went well.
Mom's feet are swelling significantly and last evening she was complaining about her neck being swollen. Partly due to heat, perhaps. Most likely not.

July 21

Mom was quite angry with me for leaving yesterday morning and it carried over when I was longer than she thought I should be coming back. So yesterday was another tough day. The nurse on duty-Ann-told me that it is often the case that the sufferer turns on the one who is closest to them. That makes it easier to understand but not easy to take.
It is over 30 degrees and Mom wants to get out each day. I certainly can't blame her but it sure limits what we can do when she feels the heat as much as she does. So yesterday we tried to go to Lakeside Park to sit in the shade but it was way too warm. The car's air conditioning seems to be the next best bet so we drove to Trail.
Then Shirley arrived to stay overnight with her. And I still felt badly when I left.

More photos

These cell-phone photos are not too bad! I didn't want to forget to take my camera and then miss those hydrangeas when they are so lovely. The open window directly above the fountain is in Mom's room and we can hear the water. Her room faces southwest so we have to have the window and curtain closed most of the day but it's sure nice in the evening. The hallways are air-conditioned but not the rooms, most of the elderly and infirm are cold most of the time. Mom's meds have made her warm so I freeze most of the time now!
This photo I took from inside Mom's room when we saw one of the two resident cats having a drink. I tried running around to the outside but could never get there in time. When Mom was a member of the Ladies' Auxiliary for Jubilee Manor, they raised funds for some of the furniture that is now on this patio, so she is getting to enjoy it(well, if you can call it enjoy).

July 20

This is the garden in the courtyard patio of Jubilee Manor. Mom's window is the farthest one away, she has a lovely view. These hydrangeas are at their peak right now. From my very limited knowledge of plants there are 4 kinds of hydrangeas there.

There is Mom's foot and elbow! She's not keen to have photos taken right now and I sure can't blame her.

Stayed overnight again last night and now Mom was extremely anxious when I was leaving. I don't know if the amount of comfort that she feels from my stays are worth the amount of anxiety when I leave. Or if her anxiety level is from moment to moment - actually that's what I feel is more likely.

Every day there are more staff that she knows and enjoys from the old Mt St Francis days. Only Mom is in a different capacity now.

Yesterday afternoon we went for a drive and went to the Frog Peak cafe at Crescent Valley where they sell pretty incredible panninis and Mom even had about 2 bites of one.

I'm at home, ostensibly doing housework but all I want to do is collapse.

July 19

Mom's anxiety level is not allowing her to relax enough and for some reason she is terrified to stay alone at night. When she doesn't know who is going to stay with her that night she is totally consumed with her fear. Lorraine has been kind enough to stay on her hide-a-bed 2 nights and Patti, a nurse who is currently on sick leave from Jubilee, has stayed with her one night. Last night it was my turn and I'll be there again tonight.
Several people have now told me that this is quite common - the things one learns when encountering something new! I have now contacted the Hospice Group who have a list of folks who will stay. I have no idea if this will ever resolve into trust of the staff at Jubilee or if she just thinks that she is staying at a motel somewhere - like she did this morning. Any friends who could manage an overnight would certainly be welcome.
Today is the first day that she went to the dining room for breakfast - I helped her dress. Unfortunately there was no one but her at her assigned table. Making friends would be so good.
Things will also be better once she gets her phone installed because she may not feel quite so cut off. I just hope that she doesn't call me too often.

July 18

Mom seems to be getting a bit stronger and even had her hair cut yesterday. She is encouraging visitors but doesn't have strength for vey long visits. I am trying to find some clothes so that she can join in some of the activities because she doesn't want to be in the lounge in a nightie - hospital nightie at that. But with the pain pump attached to her abdomen, it is a bit of a challenge. She is such a gracious, grateful person that her words about the clothes I chose to take up were; "You made such a wonderful selection."
I'm really hoping that she can get into some of the activities there and will rely on me a little less. I have set a pace that I can't keep up and in her heart of hearts, she knows this. However, her level of anxiety doesn't allow her to settle for less. We shall see.

July 16 - again

This is the view from the Emergency Department ramp that I would take Mom to see in her wheelchair in the evenings when she was still in the hospital. I know that she's not in the hospital any more but just had to share this lovely view with you. This is looking towards our house (northeast).

July 15 - the move

Today was such a hard day. Mom knew that we were going to Jubilee Manor and is resigned to that but when I went up to see her at my morning coffee break she was rather sombre and her comment was, "So this is what it's come to".
I had arranged to have the afternoon off so was able to be with her the entire afternoon and most of the evening too. I had the oxygen concentrator in the car when I went to work this morning (thanks Terry) so we borrowed an oxygen tank from the hospital for the drive over to Jubilee. Christa was up visiting Mom when I went upstairs and she had enough time to help with the move and to stay for a while for Mom's sake. When we arrived we were greeted by many of the staff that Mom recognized from Mt St Francis in Nellie's time. The nurse Kim came and did the intake and then we realized that there were a few things that we needed from home. I think that will continue for a few days, if not more. After the intake interview Mom wanted to come home for a drive and pick up the things that we needed. I think she just wanted to leave.
During the ride we met up with Jane and her family and invited her to come up to view the room and have a visit.
Then Mom asked me if I would stay overnight with her (there is a hide-a-bed in the room). I felt awful but I refused. I just do not have the energy to stay with Mom and no sleep all night. And I do not want to start and then have to stop once she is used to that. I really think that she would never be comfortable alone there if once I started. Then Mom asked me to call Lorraine who accepted and will stay there tonight and tomorrow. I don't know where we will go from there but time will tell.
Tough, tough day.

July 15

Today's the big move. I think that Mom is pretty anxious about that as am I. We will be going to Jubilee Manor at about 1300 and I have the rest of the afternoon off if needed.
Since Mom has realized that she can go out in the car and escape the jail cell that her hospital room has become to her, she wants to go out every day. Last evening when I went upstairs after work she wanted to head out. So off we went, surprising Jane McComb and family at their celebration of Jane and Shannon's birthday. Then we came to our house and I made tea and salmon sandwich and we had a little time in the driveway. It's actually quite pretty but we have never sat there before as the deck seemed to be the place to be. Terry and Judy both came over to say hi.
Mom is very weak but she has been in bed for 3 weeks and is eating very little. If we can get her to eat more and she decides to spend more time out of bed her quality of life should improve a lot.

July 14

Yesterday was tough in the morning for Mom but by bedtime she was feeling better. In the morning I prepared to go for another road trip, just in case she was up to it. When I arrived at the hospital they were doing unspeakable things to her and she was totally wiped. When she had a nap in the afternoon I came home and did the same. In the evening we went back out around the hospital in the wheelchair, searching for the elusive cool breeze. During our moments of discussion we talked about Mom going to Jubilee Manor and have pretty much decided that will be our course of action. That will likely happen today after I finish work.

July 13

These photos are of the wild sweet peas that are currently blooming on the bank beside the road between here and town.

Yesterday when I went in to visit Mom she asked when we were going. So off we went again, this time out the lake to Balfour. She really enjoyed the trip even if she was quite groggy all the way. I rather wonder if she feels like she is in jail in that hospital room.

After we came back she had a nap and I came home, then returned after supper when she again was interested in going out. It was after 1900 so I just took her in a wheelchair outside the hospital and then sat in a nice spot where there was a breeze. But she was so tired after all the time out of bed that she didn't have enough strength to get back into bed without major help.

July 12

Yesterday was a much better day - oh the ups and downs of it all! Perhaps the bad day on Thursday was due to Lor and Emily's departure. They made it home safely by supper time last evening.

I was rather aprehensive about going into Mom's room yesterday morning but when I arrived she was sitting up waiting for me and her breakfast. What a pleasant surprise.

When I went up at lunch time the community liaison nurse met me in the hallway on my way to Mom's room, wanting to discuss the transfer to Jubilee Manor. This was the first I had heard of any transfer. She had been in to see Mom and Mom had asked that I be included in the discussion.

Since the amalgamation of facilities under the Interior Health umbrella there have been some changes in bed allocation and while Jubilee Manor used to be only an intermediate care facility with residents who could manage their personal care and make their way to the dining room for meals, they now have a few palliative care beds with pretty well all of the capabilities of an acute care hospital except perhaps IV medications.

All of the rooms are private ones. And one of the biggest draws for Mom is that she knows most of the staff from the days of visiting Aunt Nellie at Mount St Francis. After the Mount closed most of the staff transferred to Jubilee.

So we had a discussion and Mom was fairly agreeable with the move and she was interested in seeing the room that she would have . I told her that I could go up tomorrow and take some photos of the room for her. After Lois (the nurse) left, Mom showed her level of anxiety by asking me if I could have the rest of the afternoon off to be with her. That was arranged and when I returned to her room she wanted me to help her see if she could walk a few steps. I think that this was due to the fact that she would want to be able to move around at Jubilee. We did that and then I suggested that, if she felt up to it, why not go and take a look at the room. To my astonishment she agreed. Rather than give her any time to change her mind we made the arrangements.

I put her into a wheelchair and took her to the lobby and went to get my car. When I was wheeling her to the door Valene, one of my co-workers, offered to help. As we were putting Mom into the car she showed a bit more of her anxiety by asking Valene if she could come too. Mom said that while she felt confidence in my abilities she would just feel more comfortable with 2 people along.

Valene, bless her heart, is the Office Services Supervisor and has the ability to take the time and agreed. Now I know that she has more work than most 2 folks there but her heart is just that big!

Away we went - Jubilee Manor is a couple of miles from the hospital, right in town. Mom has been involved with the auxiliary and knows the facility but not really the rooms. When we arrived we were greeted by several staff that we know, the room is quite nice.

On our way back to the hospital I asked Mom if she would like to take a drive out towards our house to see the spectacular display that the wild sweet peas are creating right now. I suggested that we could drop Valene off at the hospital so that she could get back to her ever-increasing mountain of work. Mom invited her to come along and again she agreed.

This little trip only added about 10 minutes to the outing but Mom was pleased. I think it made her feel a bit more normal.

The move would take place on Monday as Mom is receiving IV antibiotics each day until then. And she has not given a definite decision at this time. But she has had an outing!

She was pretty tired when we returned to the hospital so I went back to work while she slept, then more of my incredible neighbours invited me for dinner. The only thing is that I have to eat and run back to the hospital. That certainly puts the pressure on them but I truly enjoy the break. And there were the lovely flowers that are at the top of this post waiting for me when I got home from work.

I slept very well last night.

Today is the next day.

July 11

Lor left yesterday and called from Quesnel last evening. They were having a good trip and are now more than halfway home. The driving is much easier once you head north on that road so they will just have to wait as the miles and kilometers click past.
Dr Boyd added an antibiotic to fight an infection and re-arranged Mom's pain medication to a steadier level that is administered more often. Unfortunately this is the medication (dilaudid) that increases the anxiety level. Just as I was finishing work Mom's nurse called to ask when my shift ended, as Mom was getting to be very anxious. So I went upstairs and she was fairly anxious but hardly able to carry on a conversation due to the dilaudid. Soon after that Dr Landry, her internist came to visit and decided to add to the ativan to keep the anxiety at bay. Mom agreed. She is eating very little but the highlight of her week was the fresh strawberries that Shirley and Rob Kammerzell brought for her. After she finished off the strawberries they gave her some more ativan and I came home for supper. When I returned about 1845 she was sound asleep and stayed just that way until I left after 2000. The nurse tried to rouse her to give her an oral medication and she would just open her eyes and then go back to sleep.
Dr Boyd called to see how she was doing and told me that the next step is to balance all of the drugs and the pain and anxiety. So we will see.

July 9

Mom is either anxious or sedated and neither is good. Today we told her that we were invited to the neighbours' for dinner and then after work she asked me to stay with her and I agreed. About 1730 she remembered that we had been invited out and insisted that I go. I told her that I would take my cell phone with me should she want to call. She couldn't remember the number and when I returned from the neighbours' she had called once on her phone and once on mine, less than an hour after I left her. That haunted voice on the answering machine will be with me forever. Lor and Emily are leaving tomorrow so Lor went back in tonight to spend a last few minutes with her.

July 8

Yesterday Mom was extremely agitated and anxious and that is now affecting what little quality of life that she has. So I asked the pharmacist if there is any way to adjust her medications to allow her a little peace.
Emily received a phone call from her Dad to say that he has now accepted a job in Grand Prairie and is leaving today. Poor Emily won't be able to say good-bye to him except on the phone so we had a sad little girl here last evening.

July 7

Wanda left yesterday morning and phoned to let us know that she arrived safely. Mom said that she had a terrible day, including a panic attack. I wonder if it had anything to do with Wanda's departure. Lor tried in vain to ignore her birthday.
In the evening Bonnie came over to invite us to their fire in the back yard. It was a nice relaxing time.

Today we had another trip to the airport - to see Kevin off this time. Mom seems to be more agitated. The doctor who is doing weekend call for Mom's family physician came to see her and decided to have a chest xray and some bloodwork done today because Mom seems to be having more difficulty breathing. After the results were in Mom and I had a road trip to Trail by ambulance for a spiral CT to see if she has a blood clot in the lung. We still don't have the results.
I've never ridden in the back of the bus before. Sure is bumpy! We were planning to have borscht for supper that Pam had made for us. I was anticipating it all day! The ambulance left for Trail at 1730, just before I would have left to come home for supper. By the time that I reached home at 2115 my taste had changed to tea and toast. So I get to have the anticipation again tomorrow.
Kevin also phoned to let us know that he arrived home safely.

July 5

Yesterday Kevin flew in for the weekend as a surprise! When he showed up at the Xray counter it made me cry! As well as one of the ultrasound techs who became caught up in the moment. Mom was happy to see him, was sure that I was in on the surprise.
Most of the day yesterday Mom was not good but in the evening she perked up a for a little while - not even half an hour. Wanda is spending a lot of time with her because she is leaving this morning.
Today is Lor's birthday and yesterday we were reminiscing about our trip to England in 1996 when we celebrated her birthday with tea at the Ritz hotel. We sure created some good memories on that trip.

July 4

Wanda made pizzas and we took them up for dinner with Lor and Emily after they arrived. They had a pretty good trip in spite of the heat.
Yesterday we had a family meeting which included Mom, Lor, Wanda, Dr Boyd, Dave Scanlan (social worker), Lois Pierik (community liaison nurse), Liz Edwards (pharmacist) and Marie-Claude(one of Mom's nurses) as well as myself. It was discussed that Mom may have some time left and how would she like to spend it. Now that her pain and nausea are under control we start to work on the next obstacles and there is a never-ending list. There was discussion of making arrangements for Mom to come home which would include hospital-type equipment, home care nurses, home support workers, hospice volunteers. Mom is rather anxious about this so it may not happen. One other option is to have her placed in a long-term care facility so that she can have round-the-clock care. At the moment there is about a three-month wait for placement. Since no one can say exactly how much time she has, or how much of that time might require acute nursing(IV's, etc) this is certainly in the picture.
Mom has now the information to make some decisions.
Being Mom, before everyone got to her room for the meeting, she asked Wanda if perhaps we should be serving tea and coffee!
After the meeting, which lasted about an hour, Mom was totally exhausted.
Jane and Brent were kind enough to have us for dinner last evening. Wanda is only here for one more day.

July 2

Mom had a pretty good day yesterday! She was more awake than any time since she has been in hospital. In the afternoon we left her to sleep and when we cam back she was sitting up doing a crossword puzzle. Then after supper we stayed with her until 9:00 PM. She also went for a wheelchair ride down the hall.
Mom and her brother Tom have always had a joke about survivng June. 5 of their 10 siblings died in June and early in July when one calls the other they always comment that they have made it through another June. But when I suggested that she has 11 more months to go, I got the "look".
Lor and Emily are coming back for another visit and they called from Williams Lake last evening and will be here for a late supper tonight so I hope that Mom is well again today.

June 30

Wanda arrived today and that gave Mom a bit of a boost. Jimmy came at lunch time so we were all there when the doctor came to visit. This evening when Wanda and I went to see Mom we met Christa coming down the stairs so we had a bit of a visit with her while allowing Mom to rest in between. When Wanda and I went upstairs to visit Mom was pretty good and visited for about 15 minutes, then she just faded right in front of us and we left. She looked somewhat more comfortable this evening. Lor has decided that she should come back again and is planning to drive down, starting tomorrow. It will take her a full day to reach Williams Lake and then she should arrive here Wednesday evening. So Wanda will get to visit with them as well. It will be easier for Emily now that all the local kids are out of school and Gyro park pool is open.

Mom again

Mom is feeling short of breath and it takes most of her energy just to be. Jimmy came for a visit this afternoon and I am just making short visits so that she can get her rest.

I guess I truly am Diarmid's mother - he is the Ranting Moose

I don't know why woodpeckers are not extinct! If not from the concussions they must constantly endure, from people throwing sharp objects at them when they start their favorite pastime at 0500! Just about the time that you decide it is truly worth getting out of bed to yell at them, they quit! And by that time there is no return to sleep nor any desire to get up. Lying in bed planning entries just like this - that is what happens.

Mom looked a whole lot better today but is pretty exhausted. I will be going back again this evening and will see then.

June 28, 2008

Yesterday Mom was moved into the Hospice Room. Things seem to be shutting down and her chest is becoming quite congested. With the pain medication keeping her comfortable it is very nice that she doesn't have to have roommates to disrupt her snoozes. Family are not restricted by visiting hours, just by the patient's need for rest. Attached to the Hospice Room is a lounge room that contains a couch and mini-kitchen.

Friday, June 27

Ah, maybe this website gets to be tired or congested later in the day but it seems as though I have a much easier time in the early morning. Mom had a very poor day yesterday so I didn't spend much time with her. But some lovely Aussie flowers arrived to cheer her up. Today I am going to head to the doctor's office first thing to get a prescription of some meds that they don't provide in the hospital (????) Good thing that Mom has someone to do that. Otherwise what would happen? So I will get to see her reasonably early. Because there aren't phones at the bedside in our hospital family members call the desk to find out how their loved one passed the night. This great number of calls has now necessitated that the switchboard is not allowed to put calls through to the nursing station until 11oo. Maybe I will be able to get onto this website again today to keep everyone in touch.

Finally able to post!

Well, I can finally get on to post! It has been a few days and Mom is doing somewhat better today. On Monday she was still in so much pain and was so nauseated that she was not eating anything but by Tuesday the pain meds had kicked in and she was able to eat a bit. Then it was decided that we should have a planning meeting which happened today and now we know that Mom will be in hospital until the doctor and we are satisfied that she will do well at home. Then we went on from there to more long-term planning. The doctor was really pleased with how quickly Mom bounced back from her day on Sunday.
She now has a pain pump which releases a steadier dose of medication, more of her meds will be in liquid form because she has always had a tough time swallowing pills.
On the home front, the washing machine has packed it in and Tuesday was a very interesting day - circumstances made it such that I washed the floor under the washer and also cleaned the basement fridge after a can of pop burst.
Wanda is coming back next week and the doctor indicated that is likely when the home care and everything will be set up for Mom to come home.

June 23

I was having some trouble getting on to post yesterday so was unable to let everyone know that Mom was admitted to hospital yesterday. Her nausea was so bad that she couldn't take her pain-killers so her pain was greatly increased. There they are able to administer IV medication both for pain and nausea so hopefully they will get things under control. When Wanda left this morning for home and stopped by the hospital to say good-bye the nurse said that Mom had slept but was still in some pain. I will go in at noon when visiting hours start. They haven't called me so I figure that no news is good news!

June 22, 2008

This is a photo of the lovely flower box that Lorraine gave Mom for her birthday this year. It is sure flourishing and I have taken a few photos to show Mom.

Yesterday Mom was having another tough day and wasn't able to take very many painkillers due to nausea so her pain level was high. But during one of her better moments we were reminiscing and got onto the Mad Hatter's tea that we had a few years ago and all of the lovely things that Mom made and served. She made her famous scones and half a dozen different squares and turtle tarts as well as ribbon sandwiches and rolled sandwiches. About 30 people attended and we had a blast! There were prizes for some hats. (See the post from July 21,2006)

Mom had been hoping to have another tea this year. Then she was talking about how everyone loves those rolled and ribbon sandwiches and decided that when Wanda comes back at the end of June that she and I should make some, put them in the freezer for Mom's memorial service! Just might happen.

Mom's Journey

I am now on vacation for the next week and Wanda will be heading home. It sure has been great that she could be here. Mom is still trying to get her pain under control - trial and error and it changes every day. She is appreciating all of the cards and emails that people have sent. Jim and Kim came for a visit and dinner last evening but Mom was too pooped to eat much. The home care nurses are now visiting. Their schedule starts out a couple of times a week and then becomes more frequent as needed.

Home from Kelowna

We have had a tough go the last few days and then my laptop is having some problems too so I have not had a lot of time to update this journal.
Since we returned from Kelowna Mom's pain level has increased to the point that she has been to the Emergency Room twice. Wanda arrived on Monday morning just in time to make the arrangements for the first visit. I returned to work this week.
Then Tuesday evening we had to go again, each time the doctor tried to give us a new regime for the medication to try to ease her pain.
Yesterday the home care nurse came for her initial visit to share their information and to try to make Mom more comfortable.

Radiation - Day 5

The last day of radiation well very well. While we were waiting for the treatment, Dr Hoegler came along and took us for the followup consultation appointment that we were supposed to have at 1300, enabling us to leave as soon as the radiation treament was over.
the trip home to Nelson was quite good, so much better than the trip to Kelowna.
But today, Saturday, Mom awoke feeling quite a bit of pain and was unable to find much relief all day long. We are hoping that it is just the trip and that tomorrow will bring a better day.

Radiation - Day 4

We are now rather falling into the routine of radiation, lunch out, shome shopping, back home for a rest, dinner and then either TV or out again for a drive or some more shopping. When I say shopping, I mean my version of shopping where not a lot is purchased, as opposed to Mom's version of shopping which is the opposite.
When we visited Mom's doctor about two weeks ago, I asked who would be coming home from the radiation treatment with me - the tired lady in the wheelchair or the lady who couldn't wait to get home to start baking scones! Dr Boyd replied that while Mom would likely be tired at first she should regain some oomph in the weeks following radiation. So that's likely why she is now standing at the sink doing the supper dishes. Such a good daughter I am - when Mom says she can do the dishes, I let her!
We are now anticipating our arrival home tomorrow. The radiation appointment is at 1200, followed by a doctor's appointment at 1300. Checkout time is 1100. Today I asked for and was granted permission to check out by 1130. We plan to eat at the hospital cafeteria between the radiation and the doctor appointment and then blast out of Kelowna as soon as we can. Anyone who saw how full the car was when we left home will know how I'm feeling about packing it all in again, including all the shopping.
The next episode comes from home!

Radiation - Day 3

Well, we're more than half-way. Mom is so much more optimistic because she was so worried about side-effects. Thus far she was just really tired the first day and now she has a bit of heartburn so is considering herself very lucky. Dr Hoegler gave her a new timetable for medications that seems to be controlling the pain much more effectively except for in the mornings.
Today after her treatment we went for lunch at http://www.pheasantandquail.com/ - a very nice pub that is only about a block from here.
Then we returned the blouse that I bought for her yesterday and we drove around a bit, ending up at WalMart to buy a few things. Outside the WalMart store the Old Time Fiddlers were playing, getting ready for a competition. We quite enjoyed their performance for a little while. I was so impressed by my memory that my cell phone has a camera that I took a photo to share in this space. And then I forgot to save it. One more thing to learn.
Now I am looking around at all of the things that we brought to make our stay here comfortable and am wondering how many of them we really need to take back home with us!

Radiation - Day 2

Today we are veterans in the radiation treatment game. The appointment was at 1130. We made ready and were there by 1110, only making one wrong turn in the Cancer Clinic. The staff had suggested that we take home the hospital gown each day so that Mom wouldn't have to further exhaust herself by change clothing twice - worked very well. The treatment is very short-lived and we were back out in the parking lot by 1200.

Mom was feeling quite a bit better today so we decided to go out for lunch. I chose the Wood Fire Bakery and on another occasion it would probably have been an excellent choice. We just weren't hungry enough and the place was packed so we didn't have enough time to choose correctly. But we managed and then Mom decided that she didn't need to come directly back to bed and wanted to catch up on some of her shopping. Off we went to WalMart to find some treasures. She agreed to ride in WalMart's wheelchair so that made her spree!

After the shopping Mom was still feeling pretty good so we went exploring around Kelowna. We were amazed at all of the new and very expensive homes. At one point Mom suggested that it would be very difficult to choose if offered one.

Finally she decided that she should perhaps rest a bit and so we came home. While she rested I went grocery shopping and stopped to pick up a blouse for her. Of course I got the wrong size - you might wonder how often I have gone shopping with Mom. She did like the blouse and was feeling pretty good again after dinner so we decided to exchange the blouse for the correct size.

Did you know that Orchard Park Mall is not open in the evenings on Tuesdays? Tuck that bit of information away in a safe place, it may be important to you one day. More exploring - this time in the area where the fire devastated homes in 2003. The entire hillside is now covered in new homes.

Now we are actually anticipating tomorrow's treatment.

Radiation - Day 1

I have decided to record Mom's journey through her illness. Since I have not started before today I will have to go back and edit when something comes back to my sieve of a memory.
Today Mom had her first radiation treatment. She tolerated the treatment well. Side-effects and after-effects vary from one patient to another and they gave us the whole list. So far the only one that has happened is that she is totally wiped. In my mind this is a good sign because we heal as we sleep.

Last year Mom was able to give up her home oxygen for 6 months and during that time we went to Australia to see Diarmid and Jenn and family. Then she went to Kitimat in June to spend some time with Lor & Emily and help Lor out with child care for the summer. Suddenly in mid-August her breathing deteriorated and she decided to come home so that she could use her oxygen again. Her breathing gradually worse and then just before Christmas she had a couple of episodes of hemoptysis(coughing up blood in her sputum). This didn't stop her from making scones for the entire hospital staff. She did this 2 dozen scones at a time, having them ready for me to take in when I went to work at 0730. This involved 8 or 10 different days, usually 2 or 3 days a week.

Christmas was pretty tiring for her even though everyone who came for dinner helped out. I was in Victoria with Kevin so she had to do all the preparations by herself. And she does like to make Christmas fancy.

January brought a little more decrease in activity, partly due to the weather. Last year she would have done some snow-shovelling, this year I don't think that she did any at all. But she was still feeling pretty good and optomistic that she could give up her oxygen again this year and we started to plan a short trip to England. Mom wanted to visit her one surviving first cousin, Frank Symes and family and see a few more sights and relatives. We are avid fans of "Doc Martin" and would love to see Port Isaac in Cornwall where the show is filmed, and no journey to England would be complete without a visit with Brenda and Richard Hufton, now in Dorset.
The plan started out as a 10 day trip but soon had to be lengthened to almost 3 weeks in order to accommodate all of the people and places that we had in mind. There was a period of longing to even make a quick trip to Ireland - after all, if we are that close it would be a shame to miss it!

By the beginning of April Mom was realizing that she would not be able to give up her oxygen this year as last. Then our plans changed to driving to Saskatchewan to see Wanda & Hezz and her brother Tom & Frances and all the rest of the relatives that we could cram into 4 or 5 days. Following this we would drive to Terrace via Whitecourt to meet Mom's newest great grandson, Liam. We thought that we could arrive in Terrace just as school finished in June and spend a few days there.

Then her hip started to hurt. She thought that it was pretty much the same pain that she had had in the past and that if she started doing the exercises again, the pain would go away just as it had several times in the past. But the pain didn't abate and she then went to the doctor hoping to get xrays before visiting the chiropractor - after all, those bones are 13 years older than the last time the chiropractor worked his magic on them.

Xrays complete she went to the chiropractor a couple of times. After the first treatment her hip became so sore that she could no longer weight-bear so I brought home a walker from the hospital and she needed to use that to get aroung. After the next treatment her hip improved, but the way that she had to lay on the table gave her incredible pain in her ribs. She was incapacitated for a couple of days and decided not to go back.

Then she needed a prescription renewal and went back to her physician who, after hearing her history decided to do more xrays and some blood work. These tests invited more, as well as the referral to an internal medicine specialist. She ended up having a chest CT scan, a nuclear medicine bone scan and a skeletal survey (xrays of all long bones and skull and chest).

When the internist received some of the test results she arranged for Mom's consultation appointment was moved up by 2 weeks. Following the consultation the internist arranged for a skull CT, a mammogram and a bone marrow biopsy.

May 26 was the day that we went for the bone marrow biopsy. The doctor gave us the devastating news that Mom has lung cancer that has metastasized to the liver and bones. The only good news was that she felt that the bone marrow biopsy and mammogram were unnecessary. She arranged for a CT guided biopsy of the lung tumor and was referring Mom for radiation therapy.

Mom was feeling rather mortal and we called to give the family the bad news. Wanda came for a few days and is returning next week. Al Reed came for a very short visit - from 0900 to 1400 one day, Lor and Emily came for about a week and left when we came to Kelowna. Kevin came for a weekend.

So here we are, only 6 weeks after the first doctor visit, in Kelowna having radiation therapy. This morning we met Dr Hoegler and she had a simulation scan which involved making marks on her torso as well as a tattoo(!!!) for landmarking the radiation treatments. Then followed the first treatment. After being released for the day we decided to take a bit of a drive and went over the very new bridge. It is only the same 2 lanes in each direction and we wonder how that is going to help traffic congestion here in Kelowna. Then all of a sudden Mom just was exhausted and we came back home to our motel and she just fell into bed for the rest of the day.

More in hopefully shorter episodes.

Casey's first birthday parties

I'm feeling so proud of my blunderings through the programs on this computer!

More of Casey and Corby

And here's some more of the face-licking. Poor kid - her face was totally red by the time they left!

Casey & Corby

Casey just loved Corby to pay attention to her but not the licking that she took! The squealing when the dog was looking for the crumbs of roast beef that Mom was feeding to her! And have you noticed how big the dog is now! We sure enjoyed the performance.

Same view, next week

Here's what the view looks like when the sun is shining!

Here are some winter shots for Marilyn

I took this photo from the deck, aiming high enough
so that you couldn't see the roofs of the neighbours'
houses. We had about 6 or 8 inches of fresh snow
last evening.

Then I took this one from almost the same spot
but included the neighbours' houses so that you
can see that we aren't isolated.

This one I took from the neighbour's yard across
the road. By the sand on the road we could tell
that the plow had gone by this morning. By the
bare driveway when we came out of the house
we could tell that our wonderful neighbour with
the snow-blower had made a visit. Mom is
standing just inside the carport and you will
notice that the pile of shovelled snow is almost
waist-high. When I backed out of the driveway
I had to be very careful because I could not see
over the banks of snow!

Casey is strutting her stuff!

Here's the highlight of our dinner - the little one.

At the end of the video you can hear Mom asking

if anyone wants to take home the rest of the Caesar salad

Adele's birthday rerun

With Adele here this time. Last weekend everyone
was ill but they have all recovered.
So we did the birthday celebration again.
Mom made another torte - Jimmy called it a "Re-torte"

Marilyn sent these photos

Marilyn sent these photos of Christmas in Hemel Hempstead with Ray and Viv and Hannah

Adele's sister with Adele's cake

Poor Adele and family were too sick to come
for the birthday dinner so we had it
without them! But we will have a rerun
when everyone is well. That winter flu bug thing!

Christmas with Kevin in Victoria

I had a bit of trouble actually getting to Victoria, flying
out of Castlegar (or Cancelgar as it was known that week).
I was booked to go on Dec 22 and then twice on Dec 23
and finally flew out on Dec 24.


Here we are decorating the tree

Tree is finished! Just the right size for his ornaments.

Here is Kevin opening his toaster oven. Good thing that was a
present as his regular sized oven didn't work!
We had a lovely walk at Beacon Hill Park on Boxing Day.

An evening at Bells

Nancy brought her harp and wowed us with
a concert

Here we are enjoying the music

And the other side of the room